Frequently asked questions about Zack Tyndall, the next Lieutenant Governor of Maryland Shorebilly Congressman. Or at least holder of some sort of job over there.
Question: Does Zack poop?
Submitted by Joe Earl Cropper, mechanic, Berlin.
Answer: NO! Zack Tyndall does not poop. Or even pass gas. Through hands-on advanced training in human perfection offered at the world famous Salisbury State College Center for Advanced Toiletry (SCAT), Zack has arrived at a higher plane of existence than you and me. As a result, among other things, he no longer requires the daily visits to the restroom that mere mortals must make. Of course, this does mean that he is full of ....
Question: Who wins a cage match between Zack and Brian Brushog?
Submitted by Farley Bunting, chicken catcher, Berlin.
Answer: Farley, this question has been the subject of many heated debates late night at the Atlantic Hotel bar. Think of Zack as Zuck and Brian as Elon. Many insiders think Zack would decline to fight unless the Fire Department put up prize money. Most say that Brushog has the edge in weight, man buns, facial hair, body odor, and sheer viciousness, but few would count Zack out given his dedication to slipperyness, misdirection, passive hostility, and extracting money from the VFD. Some further say that Zack might actually like to get tangled up with that big hairy bear Brushog, but truth be told Farley, most locals don't really care who wins and hope for mutual annihilation instead. Or at least injuries requiring both to be permanently medevaced to Baltimore.